JOKE OF THE DAY: An old couple had been married for 50 years. Every morning (without fail), the man emitted an echoing burst of gas when he got out of bed and then laughed like a madman. Also, every morning, his wife would admonish him: “One of these days you’re going to burst your guts out.” It’s Thanksgiving morning. The old man is sleeping in, and the old lady is in the initial steps of preparing the turkey. While she has a handful of turkey innards, she gets an idea: She tiptoes up the stairs and into the bedroom. She carefully pulls back the waistband of her husband’s jockey shorts and loads him up with warm turkey guts. An hour later, the woman hears him stirring. She hears his feet hit the floor and the expected boom-laugh sequence. The laugh stops abruptly and is followed by a scream and then 10 minutes of utter silence. The man eventually comes down the stairs.